Nowhere I'd Rather Be
by detective-sweetheart
Summary: ...actually, there was somewhere else that I'd have rather been, and that place was at home, with her. But I was with her here, and so, for the moment, it didn't matter where we were.


**A/N: This is all the fault of one of my friends, a search for screencaps, and finding dress uniform ones from Stray. CI's not mine. **

* * *

"I'm going to kill you for this. I'm not going to tell you how, or when, but you had damn well better be expecting it."

The warning came from Angie, out of the corner of her mouth, because she'd had one of those fake smiles on her face ever since we'd shown up. I knew she hated these things, which was how I knew I was in for it, without the warning. She'd sworn up and down that after she retired, she'd never be caught dead at another so-called event like this, but there she was.

"Can you at least pretend to enjoy being here?" I asked, without looking at her, because looking at her would've only given away the fact that neither of us wanted to be there. "It's bad enough having to come in the first place."

"Which is why I'm going to kill you, because you know damn well I don't want to be here, so why you couldn't have just come on your own…"

"Tell me something, Angie, if I were the retired one, would you or would you not drag me out to this sort of thing?"

"Of course I wouldn't."

"Liar."

Silence. I had her, and she knew it, so she said nothing else for a long moment, and then suddenly, her grip on my arm was like a vice. "Shoot me now."

"I'm not carrying a gun. Why do you want me to shoot you?"

"Because Alice Bradshaw just saw me, and I swear if I have to talk to her for longer than two minutes, I'm going to die whether you shoot me or not."

I bit back a laugh. It figured. There were very few among the so-called hierarchy wives that Angie actually got along with, and Alice wasn't one of them.

"If you run, you'll just make it obvious that you can't stand her," I said. "You wouldn't want to do that, would you?"

"Don't start with me, Jimmy. You're in enough trouble as it is."

She didn't leave, which I was actually surprised by, as pathetic as it sounded. We were sitting, anyway, it wasn't as if she could've just gotten up and wandered off. I glanced down at her, and she scowled at me, turning so that I'd be the only one to see the expression she was wearing.

"I get the feeling this might be easier if I was in dress uniform, but I can't be, since I'm already retired," she muttered, and then, "She's not still coming over here, is she?"

"No," I replied, "She ran into Julia. Those two will talk for hours, you know that."

"Your sister," said Angie, shaking her head at me, "Is nothing less than a saint for being able to put up with all of them."

"My sister," I said, "Had three younger siblings to deal with, including me. I'm not surprised she can put up with them. The day _you_ can put up with them, however, I will hand in my shield."

Angie snorted. "That's never going to happen."

"I didn't think so."

"Why are we here again?"

She was asking to be annoying, and I knew it, because she was smirking at me, so I rolled my eyes.

"You know why we're here. Because I have to be, and if I have to suffer through this, then so do you. Can you still breathe in that dress?"

"If you'd given me a month's warning that we had to come to this damn so-called ball, then maybe. As it is, no. I could barely get it to zip."

"Now you're exaggerating."

"That's for me to know and you to find out later. And for the record, I'm still going to kill you. It'll only be painful if I have to talk to anyone for longer than a few minutes while we're here."

"No one said we were staying forever."

"I'd have to kill you now if you had. If anyone asks why I'm suddenly so much shorter than you when we finally stand up, if we decide to stand up at all, I've taken my shoes off. They're killing my feet."

There was silence, other than the other sounds around us, various voices that both of us recognized but neither of us particularly cared about. I was starting to wonder why we were really there, because honestly, the fact that showing up meant something seemed ridiculous.

"I have the feeling that no one would really notice if we were here or not," I said finally, and Angie snorted.

"My eye," she told me. "You're the one running the high-profile squad. Not me. People would notice if you weren't here."

"Yes, and if you weren't, then they'd either assume that I came with someone else and happen to be having an affair, or that you're the one sneaking around."

"To which I would say if anyone asked me about it that it's none of their damn business, and if they care to mind their own, that'd be great."

"This is why the other commanders' wives are afraid of you."

"No, the reason why they're afraid of me is because they know that a lot of the other commanders can't stand me and they're afraid that if I start rubbing off on them, it won't end well. Half of 'em are trophy wives, and you know it."

"I'd tell you that was rude, but I'm inclined to believe that it's true."

"Nice to see we agree on something. You know, I actually find it quite sad that it's that way, really, and I find it even more sad that there are only a few commanders I can name who've been married for longer than ten years."

"There are more of them than you think there are. Most of 'em are in the hierarchy, which is probably why you don't know about it."

"Good point. I haven't paid much attention to the hierarchy since Frank retired, and the only reason I paid attention then was because I was still around."

"Wait a minute, you're not still around? I could've sworn you were still alive…"

"Didn't I tell you a few minutes ago not to start with me?" Angie trailed off, and then moved so that she was partially behind me. "Great. Not only has Alice seen me, but apparently, Linda has, as well."

"You're going to have to talk to them sooner or later."

"Not if I can find some way to avoid it. Quick, help me think of something."

"I'd tell you to duck into the ladies room, but that's not going to solve anything. On the other hand, it might."

"You're awful."

"Well, you're the one who asked me to help you think of something."

There was a brief silence and then a new song started playing. Up until this point, I'd only been vaguely aware of the fact that there was even music on, but now was as good a time as any to notice it.

"I have an idea, but it'll have to involve you going back on your threat to kill me, because if we go through with it, you'll be close enough to actually do so."

"I'm close enough now. I'll go back on this threat temporarily so long as it keeps me from having to talk to Alice or Linda."

I rose to my feet and reached for her hand. "Come on, then. And yes, I'm aware of the fact that you have no shoes on, but no one's really going to notice; heaven only knows that dress is long enough."

"Damn these formal events and everything that goes along with them; I should've just stuck around the department, at least I can walk in a dress uniform," Angie muttered, but she followed me anyway. "I hope you know you're still in for it when we get home. I might not kill you, but you're sleeping alone."

"And how many times have you told me this before?" I asked. "It's useless to tell me something if you're not going to go through with it."

"Oh, I'm going to go through with it, you just wait…" Angie trailed off and sighed. "Dancing. This is your idea to get me away from them. What if they decide that they want to talk to you instead?"

"They can wait. You can't. Besides, I don't want to talk to them any more than you do, they drive me up the wall. I just can't go around saying that."

"Afraid of the brass, are we?"

"No."

She was a lot shorter than me without the shoes on, I mused, but it did nothing to keep her from smirking at me.

"Sure you're not," she said. "If you weren't, then you would say whatever the hell you wanted to without worrying about them."

"I'm not worried about them. I'm just…not as opinionated as you are."

"Like hell you're not."

She had me there. Technically, at this point, we could've left, since we'd been there long enough and people probably wouldn't have noticed, because everyone was either too drunk to notice or didn't particularly care one way or another. But she said nothing else about leaving, and I didn't bring up the subject, so we remained where we were.

"You step on my feet, I'm going to shoot you with your own gun," said Angie, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Like I said, it's useless telling me things that you're not actually going to go through with," I said. "Relax already, I'm not going to step on your feet. If you're so worried, then stand on mine."

"I'm not a kid."

"Did I say you were?"

No reply came. She seemed almost contented with where she was, which was a relief, since she'd been snarking at me almost ever since we'd shown up in the first place, and had only just decided to stop. I wondered what it meant, and then wondered if I really wanted to know. As it was, I decided not to ask, having the feeling that it'd only make things worse.

Angie was the one to break the silence. "You know, we should do this more often."

"If you're referring to coming to these formal events, I will, no lie, hand in my shield tomorrow morning."

"That's not what I meant. Like hell am I going to agree to come to this sort of thing any more than I already have to. I meant this."

I knew what she meant, and she knew it, so she didn't elaborate. "Weren't you just the one worrying about my stepping on your feet?"

"You might look like an idiot, but I don't really think you are one, as much as it might surprise you to hear."

I laughed. "Sometimes I wonder about you."

"And who's to say I don't wonder about you?" A pause, and then, "This damn dress is getting on my nerves. Can we go yet?"

"One more song."

"And here I was thinking that you wanted to get away from me."

"Away from this, maybe. Away from you, no."

I wished everyone else would go away, but knew it wasn't likely. Almost seemed like it, though, standing in the middle of what felt like nowhere, with Angie leaning forward so that her head was on my chest, because she'd taken her shoes off. This was, I thought, the sort of thing that was better suited for home, where I didn't have to be in my uniform, and she didn't have to be in a dress, though granted, at home, I'd have probably still been in work clothes, and she'd have been in sock feet, but it didn't matter.

Of course, this whole thing that we were at in the first place didn't matter, not to me, anyway. I still didn't see the point, even though I was well aware of why I had to be there. She, on the other hand, didn't really have to be there, and was only there to humor me, something we both knew, and while I wouldn't have particularly cared if she'd told me no, I was glad she hadn't.

"So, is this working as a diversionary tactic, or do we need to do something else?" I asked.

"We could always disappear somewhere," came the reply, "You know, now you see me, now you don't, and suddenly, there's a do not disturb sign on the door…"

I laughed. "And you wonder why you don't get along with any of the other women, honestly," I said. "Have you no sense of propriety?"

"And d'you really think anyone's listening to our conversation?" Angie asked, and then, "If they are, they're awfully nosy, don't you think?"

"If we keep going down this line, the next thing I'm going to hear tomorrow is that you're overly promiscuous, and that I need to learn how to control you."

"If you ever attempt to learn how, I will take your keys and lock you out of the house, and then we'll see who controls who."

Another silence. I gave her a sideways look, but said nothing, content to just be there, with her. It was almost funny that we'd ended up out here in the first place, neither of us had ever really particularly liked dancing, even though we were fairly good at it, in front of other people, anyway. At home, it was another story.

"Think we've been here long enough?"

The second song had ended without my noticing, and now, Angie poked at me, to get me to pay attention to her.

"Depends," I said. "D'you want to stay out here and wait until other people start disappearing, or do you want to make the rounds before we leave, since everyone's already seen us?"

She made a face at me. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to torture me. What'd I ever do to you, huh?"

I shook my head at her. "Last time I looked, torture was considered cruel and unusual punishment, not to mention against the Constitution. What makes you think I'd deliberately do something like that to you?"

"You're skating on thin ice."

Of course I was. I'd been skating on thin ice all night, ever since I'd gone home and told her that we were somehow expected to be here, now, even though we really weren't, and could probably have gotten away with staying home. Angie never had been one to care very much about where she was in any given so-called social circle, and honestly, neither was I. So why we were still here was beyond me.

"Think we can get away with leaving and not saying anything to anyone?" I asked. The look of relief that crossed her face was hard to miss.

"I think it's possible," she replied. "There's a back way out of here, you know."

"Why am I not surprised that you know this?"

"Are you kidding me? I've been trying to figure out an escape route all night. The only reason I didn't run was because I knew I'd have to leave you here by yourself."

"Love you, too." I glanced at my watch, and then at the rest of the crowd. "You ready to make a break for it?"

"I thought you'd never ask."


End file.
